Capstone Project: Script updates

Here's the updated pass on the dialogue for the script, more distintive personality stuff for Val. I'm casting the voice actors right now, and finishing up the animatic changes so I can send that to them for them to record off of as reference. I should have those animatic changes posted sometime tomorrow, for now here's the updated script! I may or may not cut some of it for time, but at this point I think I'm going to go ahead with it as is, since I can always cut back later on if I need to. I like how it's sounding right now though.

SCRIPT: 


VAL: London..? 

LONDON: Val?! 

VAL: Can’t take your mind off me…? 

LONDON: I never could-

VAL: Careful, you’re drowning 


[London’s sinking down in water. He swims back up to the surface]

LONDON: (Gasping for air)

VAL: Oh come on… put on a better show. 

LONDON: (Coughing and catching his breath) 

VAL: You know I would’ve. 

LONDON: It should’ve been…

VAL: It shoulda been you? Yes. You’re living MY dream and you’re wasting it. But- sex, drugs, and rock and roll, right? 

LONDON: I- 

[As he tries to speak the spotlight brightens on him and the mic gives feedback, he grunts and squints into the light. He’s standing in front of her grave now]


VAL: (Smoking a cigarette, she blows out smoke) And you stuck me with the most ugly headstone, I mean look at this thing. (She takes another drag off the cigarette). I’m six feet under a cheap halloween decoration. 

LONDON: If I could go back to that night-

VAL: Yeah, yeah, cut the crap. (She blows out smoke again and hands him the cigarette) It doesn’t matter. It could have been either one of us, but it was me. They killed me, London. 


LONDON: (Smokes the cigarette)

[Smoke fills the screen, we see from London’s POV now. He’s looking at Val and she’s handing him a piece of sheet music. This is a memory of her, so she’s more herself now.]

VAL: Here, for you to practice with - look I know you said singing isn’t your thing but I think you’re too hard on yourself- 

[Another memory, he’s watching Val and another band member practice together, Val’s 

Singing with them as they play guitar]

[Another memory, He’s with her at a bar, she’s in the same outfit she died in]

VAL: Cheers-!

LONDON: To…?

VAL: To… better days. 



Capstone Project: Script progress

I've been re-working the script, as well as adding those shots I wanted to add into the animatic. Mostly just stuck on what I want the flashback scenes to look like, but I've added the shot from his POV seeing the killer flee the scene. I'm also working on finding voice actors for the both of them as well, once the script is finalized. I should get it more set in stone by tonight, I'll be posting it on here once it is.

Capstone Project: Updates

I've been incredibly busy over the past week, but I've been working when I've had time and got some ideas and things sorted. I'm going to definitely include the brief interlude from other band member at the beginning to kind of establish Val early. I'm also adding some more shots, debating on the placement but I'm going to try them out in both spots and see which I like better. Either after the mic feedback or after he smokes the cigarette from Val, I'm going to include some POV shots of Val and London's life together. To more establish her as the previous singer, and their friendship, and so when I show the final POV shot of him seeing her killer run away it ties together. His POV seeing their moments of life together and then their final moment together. Expect some art today on the blog and an updated animatic by tomorrow.

Capstone Project: Background Changes

Based on the feedback, I'm working on backgrounds, lighting and tone right now. I may need to lighten this up some more, but here's a couple versions of the stage scene re-lit and with some color changes. I think it'll start more dim, for more contrast when the spotlight brightens around him. I'm also in contact with my composer about making something new for the sound - I'm not going to have him do anything brand brand new yet but I gave him some feedback, once I add those extra little scenes I want in there I'm going to have him make an updated piece, just want to be able to provide him with the timing. I definitely want to get more of a cooler tone in this, I might need to play around in a different program or alternatively rework the colors entirely, I'm doing some experimenting. Backgrounds are historically hard for me, but I'm determined to make them work! I want to also color something of London and put him in the space, to see how it's working conceptually with colors in general.

Capstone Project: Feedback + Changes

It was great to get some feedback on the film so far! I'm in progress of adding some changes to the animatic based on the ideas I got.

For one, I'll be changing the neck bleeding to either Val's mouth bleeding or blood coming from her head, one person gave feedback that it made them think they killed each other and I want to make it more clear that it isn't that. To add to making it clearer that they didn't kill each other, I think I might add into the final scene a shot from London's POV of him seeing a shadowy figure running away and them him focusing back on Val's dead body, more of a dramatic reveal. Add in a sound to hear someone running away across the pavement, to make it more clear. I'll also probably add more details to her bag spilling onto the ground, to make it more clear her bag was robbed in the process.

There was a suggestion to establish Val sooner or make it more clear she was a singer in the opening somehow before seeing her in the bath, so I think I'll have a mention of her before he goes into the bathroom. Probably him stopping to light the cigarette and another band member comes up to pat him on the shoulder and tell him they had a great show and that "Val would be proud of us." Establish her right away, and give more clarity to the fact that he isn't at fault for her death, but regardless he still feels guilt for surviving. I think having an outside person mention her and mention that she would be proud of them will push the fact that this conflict is within himself alone, and how he's struggling to process his grief.

I may rework some of the dialogue as well, it seems like there was a general murkiness around if Val is angry or vengeful or how she feels toward him overall. Frankly, it's a hard thing for me to pin down since REAL Val wouldn't be haunting London like this anyways, this is his own mind playing tricks on him as he's riddled by the guilt of her death and feeling like he stole her life away from her. I think I'll push the dialogue toward her being annoyed / angry / frustrated with him, since it's how he feels like she'd feel, if that makes sense.

I'll be working on those changes when I get back from work tomorrow.

Capstone Project: Animatic edits in progress

I've been working on a couple edits as suggested when I showed the current animatic in class. I'm changing the mirror scene where he's wiping his makeup off, mostly because I really didn't like the zooming and decided a brief cutaway would be a better way to get in closer to see his scar. I'm also adding red to his scar, so it stands out more, and I'm changing the transition between him at the cemetary to him just smoking and the smoke filling the screen. I added more graves in that scene as well, and I'm also going to add that final scene I talked about earlier of him in the bath. I plan on posting it tommorrow with these edits! It's diffcult getting stuff done after work so it's harder for me to get a lot of progress on these days, but I'm trying to immediately after I get home from work sit down and make some progress.

Capstone Project: Animatic + Sound

Alright, I got the preliminary music! Did some quick mixing and I present to you my animatic so far! I’m really excited about how it’s coming along, hopefully I can show it today in class for feedback, if not I do have a couple edits in mind I want to do myself, like adding that final short ending scene of him in the bath, and possibly editing that transitional shot between him with the cigarette and him on the ground. Either way, lot’s of progress!

Capstone Project: Animatic + Ambiance + temp voices

More progress! Mixed in some sounds and ambiance as well as got some temporary vocals recorded for the voice lines. I'm expecting some preliminary audio delivered soon from my composer so hopefully if I can get that in there too I'd love to add that to the mix for this animatic. Notes to self: I might add a final shot of him back in the bathtub, opening his eyes and reaching for the cigarettes. I also think I want to change the transition between her handing him the cigarette and him laying there injured to him like blowing the smoke out to the screen or something along those lines. I don't think I'll make that change in particular in this animatic since I want to keep myself at this point preparing to present and working on adding that final ending scene if I think it's needed. I think it would be a good way to tie it all together.