This is it! Made the edits and added the character sheets and visual tests. I won't be making any changes to the dialogue as of right now, I think I'm happy with where this is at. Mostly want feedback on how the overall story is working. I think it's at a good place!
Once again making some small final changes to the script. I have been working on the animatic but I got frustrated with the script again and was also working on more backgrounds in the meantime. Here's the small script updates / ideas and also some more lighting tests on London. I am gonna have the voice actos do these lines so I can have them in the animatic that I'm showing, and hopefully also a third pass on the music. The main thing I'm struggling with is that opening dialogue. I'm thinking maybe this instead?
VAL: Really ROCKED it out there, didn’t you London…?
LONDON: VAL-?!
VAL: Careful, you're drowning.
More simplified? And her taunting about the brief line Cade had earlier toward London. I'd like it to be more paced out like
VAL: Bravo.
LONDON: VAL?!
VAL: Really ROCKED it out there, didn't you London...?
LONDON: (?????)
VAL: Careful, you're drowning
But I can't think of something for London to say in that in between there. Still workshopping ideas, Script writing is hard when it needs to be concise and simple.
Feeling sick hasn't been great but I'm still movin. The animatic updates and finished animatic should be done tonight! Going to start compiling what I want to show for my presentation. Definitely showing character sheets, color tests with my backgrounds and hopefully getting an animation test done. Here's some of those updated pieces. Color test / render test / visual tests?
Also played around with lighting and color once again, I'm torn between having this blue lighting element in here or not. Leaning toward the first one where it's more of a mix but I don't know if it's too light?
A couple color tests! Still working on re-editing the animatic, it should be done by Wednesday.
Did some updates to my backgrounds. Still working on messing around with the animatic, but got caught up in taking care of some life stuff yesterday. Here are those though!
Some edits to the final scene based on feedback - I think I like it a lot how it is now, I do still think I'll add some more visual effects between the shots but I'm not 100% on how I want to do that or how I want it to look, so right now the plan is to start to move into roughs and more backgrounds.
Working on getting more of these out of the way while I brainstorm how I want to present these flashbacks. I really like the idea mentioned in class of simplifying the shots, having it flash through those memories as the camera moves up her body before revealing her dead, I'm gonna play around with that and some lighting in the transitions. Otherwise I'm pretty comfortable with everything else. I do still wanna play with the other transitions some more as was suggested in the full class presentations, but I want to get these backgrounds done and animation roughs going for everything that's locked down. I plan to have an updated pass on the animatic by Monday, but here's this for an update!
Just some small adjustments!
Did some updates to both London and Val and finished Cade! Here's all of them together too!
Did some background lighting tests, trying out some harsher lighting.
Fixed some audio and fixed some shots!
I'm thinking on what I want to change based on the last feedback I got on the newly added scenes in the animatic. I really like the final flasbacks being intercut with him remembering the night she died, I do have a version where after he smokes the cigarette we see all three of those flashbacks in succession, but I'm just not a huge fan of it.
The "Val" London is seeing throughout the entire film is a manifestation of his guilt. It's not a literal ghost manifesting in front of him and making him teleport around, he's "drowning" in the guilt he feels for surviving and she's the voice he gives to that. Because of this I'm thinking of adding a set of lines, maybe reworking some others, in the scene on the stage.
London catching his breath and asking Val "What is this?!" and her responding with "How should I know, this is YOUR mind." Or something along those lines to make it more clear? I'll also be adding different or more tonally clear transitions. I was thinking of having the flashbacks sound kinda warped and far away, and doing something visual for that too?
Either way, I'm happy with how things are coming along! I'll keep playing with it this week.
Val's character sheet! Just need to do Cade's!
We got more sound! Still have some mixing to do to make it fit better, but it gets the vision across at least. I also still want to visually edit the flashbacks so they feel kinda warped / far away so you can tell they're flasbacks but I'm debatng how exactly I want to do that / how I want them to look to get that across. But here's this!
Updated the animatic with test sounds again - no music yet, and I need to finish a couple shots but it gets the idea across for the changes I made. Also added in the voice acting from the people I cast!
London's turnaround and reference sheet is complete!
Casting is on it's way to being done! After listening to tons of auditions I've cast both London and Val, should have those audio files soon to edit into the updated animatic. I just need to cast someone for Cade for his one line I'm adding into the beginning. I'll also soon be reaching out to my composer again to get the updated music going.
Also doing more background work, here's the bathtub! Still reworking the stage some from the feedback I got last class.
Here's the updated pass on the dialogue for the script, more distintive personality stuff for Val. I'm casting the voice actors right now, and finishing up the animatic changes so I can send that to them for them to record off of as reference. I should have those animatic changes posted sometime tomorrow, for now here's the updated script! I may or may not cut some of it for time, but at this point I think I'm going to go ahead with it as is, since I can always cut back later on if I need to. I like how it's sounding right now though.
SCRIPT:
VAL: London..?
LONDON: Val?!
VAL: Can’t take your mind off me…?
LONDON: I never could-
VAL: Careful, you’re drowning
[London’s sinking down in water. He swims back up to the surface]
LONDON: (Gasping for air)
VAL: Oh come on… put on a better show.
LONDON: (Coughing and catching his breath)
VAL: You know I would’ve.
LONDON: It should’ve been…
VAL: It shoulda been you? Yes. You’re living MY dream and you’re wasting it. But- sex, drugs, and rock and roll, right?
LONDON: I-
[As he tries to speak the spotlight brightens on him and the mic gives feedback, he grunts and squints into the light. He’s standing in front of her grave now]
VAL: (Smoking a cigarette, she blows out smoke) And you stuck me with the most ugly headstone, I mean look at this thing. (She takes another drag off the cigarette). I’m six feet under a cheap halloween decoration.
LONDON: If I could go back to that night-
VAL: Yeah, yeah, cut the crap. (She blows out smoke again and hands him the cigarette) It doesn’t matter. It could have been either one of us, but it was me. They killed me, London.
LONDON: (Smokes the cigarette)
[Smoke fills the screen, we see from London’s POV now. He’s looking at Val and she’s handing him a piece of sheet music. This is a memory of her, so she’s more herself now.]
VAL: Here, for you to practice with - look I know you said singing isn’t your thing but I think you’re too hard on yourself-
[Another memory, he’s watching Val and another band member practice together, Val’s
Singing with them as they play guitar]
[Another memory, He’s with her at a bar, she’s in the same outfit she died in]
VAL: Cheers-!
LONDON: To…?
VAL: To… better days.