Once again making some small final changes to the script. I have been working on the animatic but I got frustrated with the script again and was also working on more backgrounds in the meantime. Here's the small script updates / ideas and also some more lighting tests on London. I am gonna have the voice actos do these lines so I can have them in the animatic that I'm showing, and hopefully also a third pass on the music. The main thing I'm struggling with is that opening dialogue. I'm thinking maybe this instead?

VAL: Really ROCKED it out there, didn’t you London…?

LONDON: VAL-?!

VAL: Careful, you're drowning.

More simplified? And her taunting about the brief line Cade had earlier toward London. I'd like it to be more paced out like

VAL: Bravo.

LONDON: VAL?!

VAL: Really ROCKED it out there, didn't you London...?

LONDON: (?????)

VAL: Careful, you're drowning

But I can't think of something for London to say in that in between there. Still workshopping ideas, Script writing is hard when it needs to be concise and simple.